10 Easy Ways to Stay Calm In an Argument According to Psychologists
In our everyday lives, we often have arguments and conflicts. In fact, they cannot be avoided. Even if you are always trying to stay calm, there are times when you are getting close to losing your temper. Anyway, a lot of people cannot control themselves and their emotions during arguments.
If you belong to this category, read on to find out how to stay calm in an argument.
1. Take a Deep Breath
In order to stay calm, you need to take deep breaths because slow and shallow breathing is a usual response of the body to an argument. So, the deep breaths will lower the production of the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. Breathe in through your nose, and breathe out through your mouth.
Do this 5 times, and with every exhale imagine how the stress leaves your body. Also, you should put a smile on your face even if it is not real. You can do this a few times a day if you have a need.
2. Think of Something Funny
Dr. Susan Heithler recommends you to think of something funny to you or something that may help you calm down. For instance, you can close your eyes and imagine yourself somewhere nice to help yourself stay calm.
3. Focus on Your Body
During an argument, it is important to focus on your body. When you focus on the physical sensations, you will be able to relax faster. First, relax your shoulders and hands, and then return to neutral position. Also, you can massage the body parts when you feel tense to relax.
You can imagine yourself on some calming place such as a beach, a hot tub, etc.
4. Pay Attention to the Speaker
If a person feels like they are not listened to, they often start an argument or a conflict. In fact, you can never settle an argument without listening. So, you should pay close attention to what the other person is saying, and be present.
Do not let yourself to be distracted because you need all the information to give a good response.
5. Pay Attention to Your Body Language
Your body posture can make a big difference in an argument. You should avoid aggressive body language such as crossed arms, balled fists, pursing your lips or nervous tapping with your feet. This way, you may offend the other person even if it was not your intention to do it.
6. Ask Open-Ended Questions
An essential part of the problem solving is to ask open-ended questions. In this way, you are going to show that you have listened to everything they said, and you respect them. So, next time, to show that you want a detailed answer rather than “yes/no,” try asking these open-ended questions “Why,” “How,” “What.”
7. Do Not Talk About Other Problems
Talking about earlier issues, will not help the argument settle, on the contrary, it is going to be worse. Slow down, and first deal with one issue. If there are more problems, leave them for some other time. Discussing more issues at the same time may get both sides closer to losing control.
8. Do Not Raise Your Voice
If you raise your voice during an argument or conflict, it will make everything worse. But, if you want to resolve the conflict, lower your voice. Talking in a lower tone is going to calm the other person too, so you are going to get closer to solving the problem.
9. Leave the Argument
You know yourself very good, so when you feel like your body is getting very tense, and your thoughts are starting to boil, leave. Do not let your stubbornness keep you from staying calm.
10. Agree to Disagree
Not every argument can end with happiness on the both sides. So, to stop the argument of escalating, you need to agree to disagree. At least two people are needed for a conflict. And, if you like the situation is going nowhere, try separating from the argument.
After all, we all tend to bring solutions to our problems. Neither of us wants to have health issues, but constant anger and stress may have severe consequences. So, next time when you are in an argument, try following the above-numbered tips.